A
series of extracts from one of Philip Dick's essays written in 1977 entitled
"If You Find This World Bad, You Should See Some of the Others" :
"Once
in a great while, however, [a writer] happens by chance onto a thoroughly
stunning idea new to him that he hopes will turn out to be new to everyone
else.
"An
odd aspect of these rare, extraordinary ideas that puzzles me is their
mystifying cloak of - shall I say - the obvious. by that I mean, once the idea
has emerged or appeared or been born - however it is that new ideas pass over
into being - the novelist says to himself, 'But of course. Why didn't I realize
that years ago?' But note the word 'realize.' It is the key word. He has come
across something new that at the same time was there, somewhere, all the time.
It truth, it simply surfaced. It always WAS. He did not invent it or even find
it; in a very real sense it found HIM. And - and this is a little frightening
to contemplate - he has not invented it, but on the contrary, it invented HIM.
It is as if the idea created him for its purposes. I think this is why we
discover a startling phenomenon of great renown: that quite often in history a
great new idea strikes a number of researchers or thinkers at exactly the same
time, all of them oblivious to their compeers. 'Its time had come,' we say
about the idea, and so dismiss, as if we had explained it, something I consider
quite important: our recognition that in a certain literal sense ideas are
alive.
"What
does this mean, to say that an idea or a thought is literally alive? And that
it seizes on men here and there and makes use of them to actualize itself into
the stream of human history? Perhaps the pre-Socratic philosophers were
correct; the cosmos is one vast entity that thinks. It may in fact do nothing
BUT think. In that case either what we call the universe is merely a form of
disguise that it takes, or it somehow is the universe - some variation on this
pantheistic view, my favorite being that it cunningly mimics the world that we
experience daily, and we remain none the wiser. This is the view of the oldest
religion of India, and to some extent it was the view of Spinoza and Alfred
North Whitehead, the concept of an immanent God, God within the universe... The
Sufi saying [by Rumi] 'The workman is invisible within the workshop' applies
here, with workshop as universe and workman as God. But this still expresses
the theistic notion that the universe is something the God created; whereas I
am saying, perhaps God created nothing but merely IS. And we spend our lives
within him or her or it, wondering constantly where he or she or it can be
found.
"But
then one day a wicked thought entered my mind... What if there exists a
plurality of universes arranged along a sort of lateral axis, which is to say
at right angles to the flow of linear time? ...Ten thousand bodies of God
arranged like so many suits hanging in some enormous closet, with God either
wearing them all at once or going selectively back and forth among them, saying
to himself, 'I think today I'll wear the one in which Germany and Japan won
World War II' and then adding, half to himself, 'And tomorrow I'll wear that
nice one in which Napoleon defeated the British; that's one of my best.'
"We
are all accustomed to supposing that all change takes place along the linear
time axis: from past to present to future. The present is an accrual of the
past and is different from it. The future will accrue from the present on and
be different yet. That an orthogonal or right-angle time axis could exist, a
lateral domain in which change takes place - processes occurring sideways in
reality, so to speak - this is almost impossible to imagine. How would we
perceive such lateral changes? What would we experience? What clues - if we are
trying to test this bizarre theory - should we be on the alert for?
"Well,
let us consider a favorite topic of Christian thinkers: the topic of eternity.
This concept, historically speaking, was one great new idea brought by
Christianity to the world. We are pretty sure that eternity exists - that the
word 'eternity' refers to something actual, in contrast, say, to the word
'angels.' Eternity is simply a state in which you are free from and somehow out
of and above time. There is no past, present, and future; there is just pure
ontological being. 'Eternity' is not a word denoting merely a very long time;
it is essentially timeless. Well, let me ask this: Are there any changes that
take place there; i.e., take place outside of time? Because if you say, 'Yes,
eternity is not static; things happen,' then I at once smile knowingly and
point out that you have introduced time once more. The concept 'time' simply
denotes - or rather posits - a condition or state or stream - whatever - in
which change occurs. No time, no change. Eternity is static. But if it is
static, it is even less than long-enduring; it is more like a geometric point;
an infinitude of which can be determined along any given line. Viewing my
theory about orthogonal or lateral change, I defend myself by saying, 'At least
it is intellectually less nonsensical than the concept of eternity.' And
everyone talks about eternity, whether they intend to do anything about it or
not.
"We
in the field [of science fiction writers], of course, know this idea as the
'alternate universe' theme. ...Let us say, just for fun, that [such alternate
universes] DO exist. Then, if they do, how are they linked to each other, if in
fact they are (or would be) linked? If you drew a map of them, showing their
locations, what would the map look like? For instance (and I think this is a
very important question), are they absolutely separate one from another, or do
they overlap? Because if they overlap, then such problems as 'Where do they
exist?' and 'How do you get from one to the next' admit to a possible solution.
I am saying, simply, if they do indeed exist, and if they do indeed overlap,
then we may in some literal, very real sense inhabit several of them to various
degrees at any given time. And although we all see one another as living humans
walking about and talking and acting, some of us may inhabit relatively greater
amounts of, say, Universe One than the other people do; and some of us may
inhabit relatively greater amounts of Universe Two, Track Two, instead, and so
on. It may not merely be that our subjective impressions of the world differ,
but there may be an overlapping, a superimposition, of a number of worlds so
that objectively, not subjectively, our worlds may differ. Our perceptions
differ as a result of this. ...It may be that some of these superimposed worlds
are passing out of existence, along the lateral time line I spoke of, and some
are in the process of moving toward greater, rather than lesser, actualization.
These processes would occur simultaneously and not at all in linear time. The
kind of process we are talking about here is a transformation, a kind of
metamorphosis, invisibly achieved. But very real. And very important.
"Contemplating
this possibility of a lateral arrangement of worlds, a plurality of overlapping
Earths along whose linking axis a person can somehow move - can travel in
mysterious way from worst to fair to good to excellent - contemplating this in
theological terms, perhaps we could say that herewith we suddenly decipher the
elliptical utterances that Christ expressed regarding the Kingdom of God,
specifically where it is located. 'My Kingdom is not of this world,' he is
reported to have said. 'The Kingdom is within you.' Or possibly, 'It is among
you.' I put before you now the notion, which I personally find exciting, that
he may have had in mind that which I speak of as the lateral axis of
overlapping realms that contain among them a spectrum of aspects ranging from
the unspeakably malignant to the beautiful. And Christ was saying over and over
again that there really are many objective realms, somehow related, and somehow
bridgeable by living - not dead- men, and that the most wondrous of these
worlds was a just kingdom in which either He himself or God himself or both of
them ruled. And he did not merely speak of a variety of ways of subjectively
viewing one world; the Kingdom was and is an actual different place, at the
opposite end of continua starting with slavery and utter pain. It was his
mission to teach his disciples the secret of crossing along the orthogonal
path. He did not merely report what lay there; he taught the method of getting
there. But, the secret was lost, the Roman authority crushed it. And so we do
not have it. But perhaps we can refind it, since we know that such a secret exists.
"This
would account for the apparent contradictions regarding the question as to
whether the Just Kingdom is ever to be established here on Earth or whether it
is a place or state we go to after death. I'm sure I don't have to tell you
that this issue has been a fundamental one - and an un-resolved one -
throughout the history of Christianity. Christ and St. Paul both seem to say
emphatically that an actual breaking through into time, into our world, by the
hosts of God, will unexpectedly occur. Thereupon, after some exciting drama, a
thousand-year paradise, a rightful Kingdom, will be established - at least for
those who have done their homework and chores and generally paid attention...
have not Gone To Sleep, as one parable puts it. We are enjoined repeatedly in
the new Testament to be vigilant, that for the 'elect' there is always light
with which he can see this event when it comes. SEE THIS EVENT. Does that imply
that many persons who are somehow asleep or blind or not vigilant - they will
NOT see it, even though it occurs? Consider the significance that can be
assigned to these notions. The Kingdom will come here, unexpectedly (this is
always stressed); the faithful shall see it, because for them, it is always
daytime, but for the others... what seems expressed here is the paradoxical but
enthralling thought that - and hear this and ponder - the Kingdom, were it
established here, would not be visible to those outside it. I offer the idea
that, in more modern terms, what is meant is that some of us will travel
laterally to that best world and some will not; they will remain stuck along
the lateral axis, which means that for them the Kingdom did NOT come, not in
their alternate world. And yet meantime, it did come in ours. So it comes and
yet does not come. Amazing.
"...If
you have followed my conjectures about the overlapping of these alternate
worlds, and you sense as I do the possibility that if there are three there may
be thirty or three thousand of them - and that some of us live in this one,
others of us in another one, others in others, and that events in one track
cannot be perceived by persons not in that track.
"I,
in my stories and novels, often write about counterfeit worlds, semi-real
worlds, as well as deranged private worlds inhabited, often, by just one
person, while, meantime, the other characters either remain in their own worlds
throughout or are somehow drawn into one of the peculiar ones. ...At no time
did I have a theoretical or conscious explanation for my preoccupation with these
pluriform pseudoworlds, but now I think I understand. What I was sensing was
the manifold or partially actualized realities lying tangent to what evidently
is the most actualized one, the one that the majority of us, by consensus
gentium, agree on.
"Although
originally I presumed that the differences between these worlds was caused
entirely by the subjectivity of the various human viewpoints, it did not take
me long to open the question as to whether it might not be more than that -
that in fact plural realities did exist superimposed onto one another like so
many film transparencies. What I still do not grasp, however, is how one
reality out of the many becomes actualized in contradistinction to the others.
...Perhaps it hangs on an agreement in viewpoint by a sufficiency of people.
More likely the matrix world, the one with the true core of being, is
determined by the Programmer. He or it articulates - prints out, so to speak -
the matrix choice and fuses it with actual substance. ...This selection and
reselection are part of general creativity, of world-building, which seems to
be its or his task. A problem, perhaps, which he or it is running, which is to
say in the process of solving.
"This
problem-solving by means of reprogramming variables along the linear time axis
of our universe, thereby generating branched-off lateral worlds - I have the
impression that the metaphor of the chessboard is especially useful in
evaluating how this all can be - in fact must be. Across from the
Programmer-Reprogrammer sits a counterentity, whom Joseph Campbell calls the
Dark Counterplayer. ...The Programmer-Reprogrammer is not making his moves of
improvement against inert matter; he is dealing with a cunning opponent. Let us
say that on the game board - our universe in space-time - the Dark
Counterplayer makes a move; he sets up a reality situation. Being the Dark
player, the outcome of his desires constitutes what we experience as evil:
nongrowth, the power of the lie, death and the decay of forms, the prison of immutable
cause and effect. ...The printout which we undergo as historic events, passes
through stages of a dialectical interaction, thesis and antithesis, as the
forces of the two players mingle. Evidently some syntheses fall to the dark
counterplayer.
"...I
submit to you that such alterations, the creation or selection of such
so-called 'alternate presents' is continually taking place. The very fact that
we can conceptually deal with this notion - that is, entertain it as an idea -
is a first step in discerning such processes themselves. But I doubt if we will
ever be able in any real fashion to demonstrate, to scientifically prove, that
such lateral change processes do occur. Probably all we would have to go on
would be vestiges of memory, fleeting impressions, dreams, nebulous intuitions
that somehow things had been different in some way - and not long ago, but NOW.
We might reflexively reach for a light switch in the bathroom only to discover
that it was - always had been - in another place entirely. We might reach for
the air vent in our car where there was no air vent - a reflex left over from a
previous present, still active at a subcortical level. We might dream of people
and places we had never seen as vividly as if we had seen them, actually known
them. But we would not know what to make of this, assuming we took time to
ponder it at all. One very pronounced impression would probably occur to us, to
many of us, again and again, and always without explanation: the acute absolute
sensation that we had done once before what we were just about to do now, that
we so to speak, lived a particular moment or situation previously - but in what
sense could it be called 'previously,' since only the present, not the past,
was evidently involved? Such an impression is a clue that at some past time
point a variable was changed - reprogrammed, as it were - and that, because of
this, an alternate world branched off, became actualized instead of the prior
one, and that in fact, in literal fact, we are once more living this particular
segment of linear time. A breaching, a tinkering, a change had been made, but
not in our present - had been made in our past. ...Conceivably this could
happen any number of times, affecting any number of people, as alternative
variables were reprogrammed. We would have to go live out each reprogramming
along the subsequent linear time axis. ...Thus, too, this might account for the
sensation people get of having lived past lives. They may well have, but not in
the past; previous lives, rather, in the present. In perhaps an unending
repeated and repeated present, like a great clock dial in which grand clock
hands sweep out the same circumference forever, with all of us carried along
unknowingly, yet dimly suspecting.
"Since
at the resolution of every encounter of thesis and antithesis between the Dark
Counterplayer and the divine Programmer, a new synthesis is struck off, and
since it is possible that each time this happens a lateral world may be
generated, and since I conceive that each synthesis or resolution is to some
degree a victory by the Programmer, each struck-off world, in sequence, must be
an improvement upon - not just the prior one - but an improvement over all the
latent or merely possible outcomes. It is better, but in no sense perfect -
i.e. final. It is merely an improved stage within a process. What I envision
clearly is that the Programmer is perpetually using the antecedent universe as
a gigantic stockpile for each new synthesis, the antecedent universe then
possessing the aspect of chaos or anomie in relation to an emerging new cosmos.
Therefore the endless process of sequential struck-off alternate worlds,
emerging and being infused with actualization, is negentropic in some way that
we cannot see.
"...What
blinds us to this hierarchy of evolving form in each new synthesis is that we
are unaware of the lesser, unactualized worlds. And this process of
interaction, continually forming the new, obliterates at each stage that which
came before. What, at any given present instant we possess of the past, is
twofold but dubious: we possess external, objective traces of the past embedded
in the present, and we possess inner memories. But both are subject to the rule
of imperfection, since both are merely bits of reality and not the intact form.
This is implied by the very emergence of true newness itself; if truly new, it
must somehow kill the old, the 'that which was.' And, especially, 'that which
did not come to fully be.'
"...I
am saying, 'The entire population of a large country, a continent-sized
country, can wake up one morning having entirely forgotten something they all
previously knew, and none of them is the wiser. ...If an entire country can
overnight forget ONE thing they all know, they can forget other things, more
important things; in fact, overwhelmingly important things. I am writing about
amnesia on the part of millions of people; of, so to speak, fake memories laid
down."
At
this point, Mr. Dick speaks of a period in his own life where he
"remembered" another reality in which he had just existed - a reality
of a "prison." He was unaware of the fact that this was what he was
writing about in Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said. Dick says:
"The
world of Flow My Tears is an actual (or rather once actual) alternate world, and
I remember it in detail. I do not know who else does. Maybe no one else does.
perhaps all of you were always - have always been - here. But I was not. In
novel after novel, story after story, over a twenty-five year period, I wrote
repeatedly about a particular other landscape, a dreadful one. In March 1974, I
understood why. ...I had good reason to. My novels and stories were, without my
realizing it consciously, autobiographical. It was - this return of memory -
the most extraordinary experience of my life. ...You are free to believe me or
disbelieve me, but please take my word on it that I am not joking; this is very
serious; a matter of importance. I am sure that at the very least you will
agree that for me even to claim this is in itself amazing. Often people claim
to remember past lives; I claim to remember a different, very different,
present life. ...I rather suspect that my experience is not unique; what
perhaps is unique is the fact that I am willing to talk about it.
"I
would like to share with you something I knew - retrieved - along wiht the
blocked-off memories. In March 1974 the reprogrammed variables, tinkered with
back at some earlier date, probably in the late forties - in March 1974 the
payoff, the results, of at least one and possibly more of the reprogrammed
variables lying along the linear time line in our past - set in. What happened
between March and August 1974 was the result of at least one reprogrammed
variable laid down perhaps thirty years before, setting into motion a thread of
change that culminated in what I am sure you will admit was a spectacularly
important - and unique - historical event: the forced removal from office of a
president of the United States, Richard Nixon, as well as all those associated
with him. In the alternate world that I remembered, the civil rights movement,
the antiwar movement of the sixties, had failed. And, evidently, in the
mid-seventies Nixon was not removed from power. That which opposed him (if
indeed anything existed that did or could) was inadequate. Therefore one or
more factors tending toward that destruction of the entrenched tyrannical power
had retroactively, to us, come to be introduced. The scales, thirty years
later, in 1977, got tipped. ...In the future world of "Flow My Tears,"
the dreadful slave state that exists and evidently has existed for decades,
Richard Nixon is remembered as an exalted, heroic leader - referred to, in
fact, as the 'Second Only Begotten Son of God.' It is evident from this and
many other clues that Flow My Tears deals not with OUR future, but the future
of a present world alternate to our own. ...It was dreadful; we overthrew it,
just as we overthrew the Nixon tyranny, but it was far more cruel, incredibly
so, and there was a great battle and loss of life.
"It
was in February 1974 that Flow My tears was finally, after two years delay,
published. It was almost as if the release of the novel, which had been delayed
so long, meant that in a certain sense it was all right for me to remember. But
until then it was better that I did not. ...I have the impression that the
memories were not to come to the surface until the material had been published
very sincerely on the author's part as what he believed to be fiction. Perhaps,
had I known, I would have been too frightened to write the novel. Or perhaps I
would have shot my mouth off and somehow interfered with the effectiveness of
these several books - whatever effectiveness that might be or was. I do not
even claim there was an intended effectiveness; perhaps there was none at all.
But if there was one - and I repeat the word 'if' emphatically - it was almost
certainly to stir subliminal memories in readers back to dim life - not a
conscious life, not an entering consciousness as in my own case, but to recall
to them on a deep and profound, albeit unconscious level, what a police tyranny
is like, and how vital it is, now or then, at any time, along any track, to
defeat it.
"In August, five months later, they proved
successful, although these reprogrammings, this intervention in our present,
may have been designed more to affect a future continuum rather than our own.
As I said at the beginning, ideas seem to have a life of their own; they appear
to seize on people and make use of them. The idea that seized me twenty-seven
years ago and never let go is this: Any society in which people meddle in other
people's business is not a good society, and a state in which the government
'knows more about you than you know about yourself,' is a state that must be
overthrown. It may be a theocracy, a fascist corporate state, or reactionally
monopolistic capitalism, or centralistic socialism - that aspect does not
matter. And I am saying not merely, 'It can happen here,' meaning the United
States, but rather, 'It did happen here. I remember. I was one of [those] who
fought it and to at least some extent helped overthrow it. And I am very proud
of that: proud of myself in Time Track A. But there is, unfortunately, a somber
intimation that accompanies my pride as to my work there. I think that in that
previous world I did not live past March 1974. I fell victim to a police trap,
a net or mesh. However, in THIS one, which I will call Track B, I had better
luck. But we fought here in this track a much lighter tyranny, a far stupider
one. Or, perhaps, we had assistance: the anterior reprogramming of one or more
historic variables came to our rescue. Sometimes I think (and this is, of
course, pure speculation, a happy fantasy of my soul) that because of what we
accomplished there - or anyhow attempted to, and very bravely - we who were
directly involved were allowed to live on here, past the terminal point that
brough us down in that other, worse world. It is a sort of miraculous kindness.
"During
a short period of time in March of 1974, at the moment in which I was
resynthesized, I was aware perceptually - which is to say aware in an external
way - of his [the Divine Programmer] presence. At that time I had no idea what
I was seeing. It resembled plasmic energy. It had colors. It moved fast, collecting
and dispersing. During that short period - a matter of hours or perhaps a day -
I was aware of nothing that was not the Programmer. All the things in our
pluriform world were segments or subsections of him. Some were at rest but many
moved, and did so like portions of a breathing organism that inhaled, exhaled,
grew, changed, evolved toward some final state that by its absolute wisdom it
had chosen for itself. I mean to say, I experienced it as self-creating,
dependent on nothing outside it because very simply there was nothing outside
it.
"As
I saw this I felt keenly that through all the years of my life I had been
literally blind; I remember saying over and over to my wife, 'I've regained my
sight! I can see again!' It seemed to me that up until that moment I had been
merely guessing as to the nature of the reality around me. I understood that I
had not acquired a new faculty of perception but had, rather, regained an old
one. For a day or so I saw as we once all had, thousands of years ago. But how
had we come to lose sight, this superior eye? The morphology must still be
present in us, not only latent; otherwise I could not have reacquired it even
briefly. This puzzles me yet. How was it that for forty-six years I did not
truly see but only guessed at the nature of the world, and then briefly did
see, but soon after, lost that sight and became semi-blind again? The interval
in which I actually saw was, evidently, the interval in which the Programmer
was reworking me. He had moved forward as palpably sentient and live, as set to
ground; he had disclosed himself. Our God is the deus absconditus: the
hidden god. But why? Why is it necessary that we be deceived regarding the
nature of our reality. Why has he cloaked himself as a plurality or unrelated objects
and his movements as a plurality of chance processes? All the changes, all the
permutations of reality that we see are expressions of the purposeful growing
and unfolding of this single entelechy; it is a plant, a flower, an opening
rose. It is a humming hive of bees. It is music, a kind of singing. Obviously I
saw the Programmer as he really is, as he really behaves, only because he had
seized on me to reshape me, so I say 'I know why I saw him,' but I cannot say,
'I know why I do not see him now, nor why anyone else does not.' Do we
collectively dwell in a kind of laser hologram, real creatures in a
manufactured quasi-world, a stage set within whose artifacts and creatures a
mind moves that is determined to remain unknown?
"A
newspaper article about this speech could well be titled: AUTHOR CLAIMS TO HAVE
SEEN GOD BUT CAN'T GIVE ACCOUNT OF WHAT HE SAW.
"If
I consider the term by which I designate him - the Programmer and Reprogrammer
- perhaps I can extract from that a partial answer. I call him what I call him
because that was what I witnessed him doing: He had previously programmed the
lives here but now was altering one or more crucial factors - this in the
service of completing a structure or plan. I reason along these lines: A human
scientist who operates a computer does not bias nor warp, does not prejudice,
the outcome of his calculations. A human ethnologist does not allow himslef to
contaminate his own findings by participating in the culture he studies. Which
is to say, in certain kinds of endeavors it is essential that the observer
remain occluded off from that which he observes. There is nothing malign in
this, no sinister deception. It is merely necessary. if indeed we are,
collectively, being moved along desired paths toward a desired outcome, the
entity that sets us in motion along those lines, that entity which not only
desires the particular outcome but that wills that outcome - he must not enter
into it palpably or the outcome will be aborted. What, then, we must return our
attention to is - not the Programmer - but the events programmed. Concealed
though the form is, the latter will confront us; we are involved in it - in
fact, we are instruments by which it is accomplished.
"There
is no doubt in my mind as to the larger, historic purpose of the reprogramming
that paid off so spectacularly and gloriously in 1974. Currently I am writing a
novel about it; the novel is called V.A.L.I.S., the letters standing for 'Vast
Active Living Intelligence System."
"...One
thing I really want you to know: I am aware that the claims I am making -
claims of having retrieved buried memories of an alternate present and to have
perceived the agency responsible for arranging that alteration - these claims
can neither be proved nor can they even be made to sound rational in the usual
sense of the word. It has taken me over three years to reach the point where I
am willing to tell anyone but my closest friends about my experience beginning
back at the vernal equinox of 1974.
"In
February of 1975, I had passed across into a third alternate present - Track C,
we shall call it - and this one was a garden or park of peace and beauty, a
world superior to ours, rising into existence. I can [thus] talk about three,
rather than two worlds: the black iron prison world that had been; our
intermediate world in which oppression and war exist but have to a great degree
been cast down; and then a third alternate world that someday, when the correct
variables in our past have been reprogrammed, will materialize as a superimposition
onto this one ... and within which, as we awaken to it, we shall suppose we had
always lived there, the memory of this intermediate one, like that of the black
iron prison world, eradicated mercifully from our memories.
"The
best I can do ...is to play the role of prophet, of ancient prophets and such
oracles as the sybyl at Delphi, and to talk of a wonderful garden world, much
like that which once our ancestors are said to have inhabited - in fact, I
sometimes imagine it to be exactly that same world restored, as if a false
trajectory of our world will eventually be fully corrected and once more we
will be where once, many thousands of years ago, we lived and were happy.
During the brief time I walked about in it I had the strong impression that it
was our legitimate home that somehow we had lost. The time I spent there was
short - about six hours of real elapsed time. But I remember it well. What was
most amazing to me about this parklike world, this Track C, was the
non-Christian elements forming the basis of it; it was not what my Christian
training had prepared me for at all. Even when it began to phase out I still
saw sky; I saw land and dark blue smooth water, and standing by the edge of the
water a beautiful nude woman whom I recognized as Aphrodite. At that point this
other better world had diminished to a mere landscape beyond a Golden Rectangle
doorway; the outline of the doorway pulsed with laserlike light and it all grew
smaller and was at last alas gone from sight, the 3:5 doorway devouring itself
into nothingness, sealing off what lay beyond. I have not seen it since, but I
had the firm impression that this was the next world - not of the Christians -
but Arcady of the Greco-Roman pagan world, something older and more beautiful
than that which my own religion can conjure up as a lure to keep us in a state
of dutiful morality and faith. What I saw was very old and very lovely. Sky,
sea, land, and the beautiful woman, and then nothing, for the door had shut and
I was closed off back here. It was with a bitter sense of loss that I saw it go
- saw her go, really, since it all constellated about her. Aphrodite, I
discovered when I looked in my Britannica to see what I could learn about her,
was not only the goddess of erotic love and aesthetic beauty but also the
embodiment of the generative force of life itself; nor was she originally
Greek: in the beginning she had been a Semitic deity, later taken over by the
Greeks, who knew a good thing when they saw it. During those treasured hours what
I saw in her was a loveliness that our own religion, Christianity, at least by
comparison, lacks: an incredible symmetry, the palintonos harmonie that
Heraclitus wrote of: the perfect tension and balance of forces within the
strung lyre bowed by its stretched strings, but which appears perfectly at
rest, perfectly at peace. Yet, the strung lyre is a balanced dynamism, immobile
only because the tensions within it are in absolute proportion. ...For a little
while I had seen perfect peace, perfect rest, a past we have lost but a past
returning to us as if by means of a long-term oscillation, to be available as
our future, in which all lost things shall be restored.
"...I believe I know a great secret. When the work of
restoration is completed, we will not even remember the tyrannies, the cruel
barbarisms of the Earth we inhabited... the vast body of pain and grief and
loss and disappointment within us will be expunged as if it had never been. I
believe that process is taking place now, has always been taking place now.
And, mercifully, we are already being permitted to forget that which formerly
was. And perhaps in my novels and stories I have done wrong to urge you to
remember." [Dick, edited by Sutin, 1995]