Limericks by Martin Huxley

[These describe the various lectures which took place at the Zeta functions and random matrices workshop, Bristol, September 2001.]


There are several ways that you get
An example of TOEPLITZ's det.
From SCHUR and symmetrics
To KNUTH who type-set tricks,
JOHANSSEN has not finished yet.

The game in JOHANSSEN's arcade,
If you're DEIFT about theft, it's a raid!
You ride on a BAIK,
Pick up fruits that you like.
Highest score? TRACY WIDOM has played.

When SARNAK was stuck in the States,
BRIAN CONREY presented his plates.
As A4 paper lacks
The last half-inch of fax,
He charged less than convexity rates.

What SARNAK set KEATING to do,
Was explaining that rogue forty-two.
In the "Hitch-hiker's Guide",
The computer they tried
Took so long that no man ever knew.

Which poster for prizes to pick?
KOLOKOLTSOV's was done very quick.
DU SAUTOY know twaddle;
He goes for a model
Of learning by carrot and stick.

NINA SNAITH's pow'rs of zeta design:
Shift to different points off the line;
Instead of the "u"'s
Being something you choose,
Take the mean: contributions combine.

Never trust someone talking with slides.
Sleight of hand commonsense overrides:
There's tricks of the cinema,
Getting p minima
From V degree p, he confides.

A law universal is taught,
With dependence on n set at nought.
Says PASTUR, it's essential
To know the potential;
It depends on the shape of support.

To calculate tough correlation,
Go up to a representation
Of a bigger group, now
Use the dual pairs (HOWE?):
Highest weight boson state calculation.

[ZIRNBAUER]
Horocycles the whole domain fill.
Subintervals - uniform still?
Genericly yes,
But it's anyone's guess
If divisions of periods will.

[STROMBERGSSON]
For CAT maps the quantumised mimicry
Is projective, with multiplier gimmickry.
What MEZZADRI can show
For the theta group, though,
Is perturb, and don't lose all the symmetry.

In the series laid out by VOROS, i  t
From the zeros, by some reciprocity
Of lengths against frequencies,
Gives the "integer" sequences
For a gen'ral DIRICHLET monstrosity.


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